‘The View’ should consider hiring Candace Cameron Bure…

The View is losing another panelist, Rosie Perez, who is leaving the show. This announcement isn’t surprising because there were rumors of Perez’s departure after she took time out to star in Larry David’s play Fish in the Dark. Judging from her performance on The View, I think it’s a good idea for the actress to leave what appears to be a sinking ship, as it struggles to find itself after an exodus of the show’s main players. This year was a year of transitions, and none of them were smooth. After Elisabeth Hasselbeck left in 2013, the show lacked a strong conservative voice. This season featured Republican strategist Nicole Wallace, famous for her work on the McCain/Palin campaign. Unfortunately, for the show, Wallace’s conservatism is one of an analytical kind – she comes from it from an intellectual point of view, which means, unlike Hasselbeck, she rarely reverted to the scary Right Wing nonsense that Hasselbeck would spout joyously (or tearfully) when she was on the show. While I appreciated Wallace’s restraint and intelligence, it was a little dull.

Which is why I’m thinking The View should tap Candace Cameron Bure to fill Hasselbeck’s slot as the Right Wing fundie needed to inject some drama into the show – and hey, as an added bonus, she even kinda looks like Hasselbeck (though to be fair, Bure kinda looks like every Right Wing news anchor). Bure appeared on The View this week, and like her nutty fundie brother, Kirk Cameron, she didn’t disappoint, defending a baker who refused to bake a lesbian couple a wedding cake. Raven-Symone, who is queer, was obviously put out by Bure’s assertion that the baker’s bigotry is protected by the Constitution, and the two got into some bickering – which was awesome, and made me think of the days when Hasselbeck would spout some garbage that she read off the Internet. It was all kinds of amazing, because Raven-Symone, a queer black woman, was comparing the baker’s bigotry to racism in 1960s era Segregation, and then Bure – a cis straight white woman – corrected Ms. Raven, informing her that she was comparing “apples to oranges.” I love it. Only in the mind of someone like Candace Cameron Bure, can a white straight person school a gay black person on discrimination. And Ms. Raven was not having it for the rest of the show, throwing all kinds of shade in tense body language toward the artists formally known as D.J. Tanner. It was the kind of hot mess that made The View great in its heyday. Bure intentionally affirming straight privilege, while unintentionally whitesplaining is the kind of TV that The View should be. And there’s also something very strange about two former child stars of 80s TV sitcoms arguing about gay rights on television.

Which is why the producers need to hire Bure onto the show, because she seems like the perfect Elisabeth Hasselbeck clone, and would probably safe the show’s sinking ratings. You see, I don’t think people stopped watching the show because of its alleged liberal bias, I think they’ve stopped because it’s too staid and boring. When Whoopi Goldberg brought up abortion, Bure tried on some Hasselbeck sass by saying “bring it,” before the Whoopster quickly shut her down with a great line that essentially said, “You’re Christian, so you don’t have to have an abortion – but hands off my body.” It was vintage Goldberg schooling Hasselbeck, and it made me nostalgic for the days of The View when Goldberg would roll her eyes as Hasselbeck would question the rights of gays, immigrants, women, Muslims, etc. Those were great days. I think the problem is the producers are mistaken in thinking that people watch The View for trenchant political debate or discussion – please, it’s The View….We want to see celebrities giving each other the stink eye.

If it sounds like I’m damning Candace Cameron Bure with faint praise….Well, I am. I think she’s ridiculous, obviously. But I do have some affection for her because she was the only one on Full House that I didn’t find to be an irritating bore (and in the later seasons she was actually funny). But even if I think she’s ridiculous, it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy her – being ridiculous and being enjoyable aren’t mutually exclusive. And when she’s not spouting fundie nonsense, she’s actually personable and kind of funny – see her episode of In Bed with Joan, for proof that she was able to hold her own against a comedy powerhouse like Joan Rivers and not come off like a blithering idiot (though, I’m always confused when homophobes partake of gay culture).

Anyways, Candace Cameron Bure gets my vote for the newest View candidate…

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Filed under Celeb, Comedy, Sitcom, Television, TV

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