No, Kevin Sorbo, we’re not mad because we hate god…

Former Hercules star Kevin Sorbo went on the radio to give his bizarre theory on why atheists are so angry. According to Sorbo, who is known throughout the land as a leading theologian on such issues, atheists are  angry because:

“these guys must believe in something, otherwise they wouldn’t get so angry about it and they don’t like the fact that there is a higher power out there that is judging how they live their life.”

Huh. What Sorbo and his like doesn’t seem to understand is that we don’t care if you believe in god. We don’t care if you believe in fairies, unicorns, the Loch Ness monster, any of that – we think it’s great that faith gives people succor and comfort in times of great need and stress. But what we don’t like is when people use religion to shape legislation – it’s that simple. I couldn’t care less if my neighbor is a fundamentalist Christian, but I do care that women throughout the country are free from the government legislating their reproductive organs.

But I feel bad hitting Sorbo because it’s an easy target. On the Ferguson crisis, he sagely pointed out, “It is an excuse to be the losers these animals truly are. It is a tipping point to frustration built up over years of not trying, but blaming everyone else, The Man, for their failures. It’s always someone else’s fault when you give up. Hopefully this is a reminder to the African Americans ( I always thought we just Americans. Oh, well.) that their President the voted in has only made things worse for them, not better.” Because it was President Obama’s fault that Michael Brown was shot. Thanks, Obama…

Look, I’m sure Sorbo’s a decent guy – he’s just doing press to sell his junky movie (Sorbo’s graduated from basic cable stardom to Christian film superstardom – watch out Kirk Cameron!), and for that I feel bad for him. It must be excruciating to have to go on crappy radio shows and push a product that will probably end up in a bargain bin in some Wal-Mart somewhere. In the movie he was pushing, he plays an atheist, and he claims he got inspiration for the role by all the foaming-at-the-mouth atheists he sees on TV – because religious folks never get on TV to make fools of themselves –  if I have to sit through one more news segment where an atheist loses his shit while trying to legislate discrimination, reproduction, or women’s health – oh, wait, we don’t do that.

When we get on TV and make a scene we’re doing so because some asshat hiding behind god is saying that women who have abortions or women who marry other women are going to hell. People use religion as an invisibility cloak, hoping that they can get away with some appalling nonsense like Islamophobia, sexism, xenophobia, or homophobia – and because TV is an image-driven medium that thrives on easy soundbites and exploitable imagery, the religious folks on TV are usually loud-mouthed buffoons.

Sorbo complained that religious freedom is being chipped away – what he’s complaining about is the beginning of the end of Christian privilege. Because let’s be clear – when folks moan about religious freedoms being taken away, they’re pissed because they can’t shit on gay people or Muslims and have the Federal Government pay for it. Religious freedom is the freedom to practice your religion unless certain practices break the law – so sorry, if your cult requires that you marry little girls then you’ll have to give that up. If your religious texts declare that gay marriage is an abomination, then don’t attend a gay wedding, but if you’re a business owner, you still have to serve gay customers. This renewed call for religious freedom isn’t for religious freedom for all – it’s for religious freedom for a sect of conservative Christianity. Because I seem to recall that when there was talk of erecting a Muslim community center close to Ground Zero in New York, religious freedom wasn’t a huge concern for these guys.

It’s funny but reading about Kevin Sorbo made me laugh a little because frankly, I never thought I’d ever even think about the guy. He’s a crafty one because he knows that he’ll never get any traction with his acting career – he’s strictly celebreality at this point, and should see about getting on Dancing with the Stars or Celebrity Big Brother – so he knows that talking nonsense about the president will definitely give him some publicity (think about it – before he went on Piers Morgan and unloaded a steaming pile of stupid, no one was thinking about Kirk Cameron). So, in the spirit of charity and goodwill, I’m doing my part to help the guy out – I’ll write about him so that my tens of readers will read about him, and maybe they’ll pick up a DVD of his movie, and he’ll get some free publicity out of this. Then I know I’ve done some good – after all, charity is a virtue that transcends religion.


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Filed under Celeb, Comedy, commentary, Nonfiction, politics, Television

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